The Pause Is What Changes Everything

The other night, I was talking to a friend who said something that felt harsh and uncalled for. Thank goodness for yoga, or I might have put myself in a situation I would regret by reacting with the same negativity.

But instead, I felt a visceral reaction and withdrew my senses to observe what was happening inside me. This is called Pratyahara, the withdrawal of the senses. This is the fifth limb of the eight-fold path of yoga. And this has saved me from getting into uncomfortable discords or fights numerous times.

I felt the tight gut; I heard the reaction I wanted to blurt out, but instead I deepened my breath and stayed quiet. Not complacent, but quiet.

And in that quiet, my friend had the space to hear what she just said. I witnessed her discomfort, her looking down, and wringing her hands. She then said, "Sorry, that wasn't very nice." I just nodded.

She explained where the comment came from and admitted that it was inappropriate. We then had a much deeper conversation about what was going on with her and traced back what elicited the comment. It ended up being a bonding experience, as I know I've said things I wish I hadn't, so I could sympathize.

The power of pausing and withdrawing, by staying quiet so the other person who may have been rude, inappropriate, harsh, etc., allows them to hear what they just said without it being quickly reacted to and covered over, is a game-changer.

This is one of yoga's superpowers. We know yoga provides us with strength and flexibility, and relieves chronic pain, but one of its more advanced gifts is training the observing mind, which shifts the way we relate to things. And it takes practice.

Life will continue to have its challenges and ups and downs, but it's how we relate to it all that determines the quality of our lives.

So when the weather continues to be cold, grey, and still snowing/sleeting, I observe my disappointment, my craving for spring, and then I'm not entangled in the gloom anymore; I'm just witnessing it as ephemeral.

When I'm around difficult people, I observe the choice of how to respond. I see them as my teachers on how to stay neutral, not resist, and not judge. This not only benefits me but them as well, as we are a frequency of energy that affects those around us.

What we practice gets stronger. Meditation and breathwork are steps toward controlling the mind through the superpower of pratyahara and observation.

Hope to breathe with you soon.

From my heart to yours~

Namaste,

Maggie